Are you really at fault?
When a manager is used to receiving excellent performance evaluations from their supervisor, they may not respond well to the feedback provided by a newcomer. The typical reaction is to say that the new supervisor must be wrong. Maybe she doesn’t know what she is talking about because she is new. Maybe she is a micromanager who focuses on the wrong things. Maybe she just doesn’t understand people, or the situation, or the culture. Maybe her expectations are unrealistic. And the list goes on and on. Instead of opening her mind to new ideas and become more self-reflective, the manager will get defensive and attack the supervisor’s credibility.
If this is happening to you, please, get your ego out of the way!!! Trying to prove your supervisor wrong either by discrediting her or by asking other people’s opinions of you to validate your point of view will get you nowhere. It doesn’t matter if you have twenty years of experience and none of your past supervisors gave you the feedback you are receiving now.
Who is right and who is wrong is not the issue. The issue is that you now report to someone who is asking you to make some changes and you can’t be dismissive. Address it but don’t get defensive. Something has caused your supervisor to notice areas that, in his or her opinion, need improvement. Perhaps you need to learn something new, or perhaps you need to improve how you communicate about your work, if you are in fact doing a great job but your supervisor can’t see it. You may not feel a need to change anything within yourself, but it doesn’t change the fact that you need to change your supervisor’s opinion. How? Not by explaining yourself but by listening first.
Be willing to listen and understand
Seeing your new supervisor as an outsider who doesn’t know what she is talking about is often a sign that you prefer to stick to what is familiar, rather than open your mind to new ideas and seek improvement. Or it might be that you don’t want to be challenged. Or maybe both… Great leaders are willing to hear feedback, are open to change, and have a genuine desire to grow and seek improvements. Do you think of yourself as a leader or a victim?
Whether the feedback you’re receiving is fair or not, getting defensive will make things much worse. This is the time to show maturity and emotional intelligence, not to let your ego react. Make a sincere effort to understand what your new supervisor has observed and wants to see corrected.
Here are some examples of common misunderstandings:
Example 1: Your former supervisor understood how heavy your workload was and was never concerned about delays in responding to emails or needs to push back deadlines. Your new supervisor however, is accusing you of poor follow-up, and unsatisfactory response time which causes bottlenecks. You feel unfairly treated because you think you are doing your best and instead of receiving praise for your accomplishments, you get picked on for little things. Please understand that looking unresponsive can cause people to doubt your integrity, your dedication, and your ability to do your job. It is a bigger deal than you realize! Let’s get serious about organization, time management, daily habits, and performance improvement.
Example 2: Your new supervisor asks a lot of questions so you feel scrutinized and micro-managed. Instead of realizing that she is new and she legitimately needs to learn about the departments she oversees, you become secretive and try to keep her out of your business. You see her as the enemy. A few months later, she tells you that you need to become a team player and be willing to share information. It seems unfair to you, but it is the result of your own behavior. The good news is, it is easy to fix!
Example 3: Your new supervisor thinks you’re too soft with people and you need to be firm when it comes to setting expectations and keeping people accountable. You refuse to hear this because in your opinion, employees are family, and it’s more important for you to have comfort and harmony than accountability. You accuse your new supervisor of being heartless. Is she, really? Take an honest look at your employees’ performance and outcomes. Teams that feel like family tend to experience a high level of frustration because too many problems remain hidden. If tensions and resentments are swept under the rug, I promise you, people are not happy! It may be time for you to be less of a caretaker and more of a leader.
Example 4: Your focus is on avoiding liability and preventing problems. When new ideas are presented, you see all the reasons why they will not work. Without realizing it, your desire to avoid risks make you look like a “no person”. Your contributions are perceived as resistance. Your supervisor tells you to stop being negative, but you think she needs to stop being delusional! This is an excellent opportunity for growth. You need to develop new habits to think more about solutions than problems and to become more resourceful. If you can’t say yes to what is being presented, work with the team on finding an alternative.
What will you do now?
Please stop being defensive and stop trying to prove your new supervisor is wrong. Listen, truly listen, with a sincere intention to understand what your supervisor is observing and saying. Keep an open mind. In most cases, you won’t have to change much at all. You can meet your supervisor’s expectations by communicating more effectively and showing your willingness to follow her lead. Become an ally and help her succeed instead of making her the enemy.
Easier said than done? Let me help you. Together, we can analyze the situation and develop strategies to meet your supervisor’s expectations without having to compromise who you are or what values are important to you. Let’s team up to improve your communication with your new supervisor and make sure your next evaluation is beyond satisfactory! Click here to schedule a complimentary call with me and we’ll discuss how we can turn things around quickly.
About the author: Dr. Audrey Reille has empowered thousands of professionals through one-on-one coaching, group coaching, speaking engagements, and online courses. Audrey is the go-to coach for leaders in higher education administration. She empowers them to thrive by reducing stress, optimizing strategies, improving professional relationships, and developing a strong and empowered mindset.