Only What You Allow Continues – And How to Make it Stop!

Excerpt from my ebook “5 Secrets to Preventing Stress in Higher Education Administration”. 

Only What You Allow Continues...

If you have had the same position for more than a couple of years, chances are you have developed some habits that may not be in your best interest. Our habitual minds tend to create limitations and reduce our ability to see new solutions. There are certain things you do on autopilot and it is time to reconsider them. Question all the things you haven’t examined in years.

I had a client who confused being submissive with being respectful. When her supervisor asked her to do something that she knew wasn’t the best option, she didn’t speak up. She simply did what was expected of her. She believed her supervisor would appreciate her respect and loyalty but somehow, she wasn’t rewarded for her behavior. After a couple of coaching sessions, she realized her compliant behavior was seen as lack of leadership and creative ideas. Once she changed her perspective and started contributing ideas, not only did her job satisfaction increase dramatically, but her job evaluations did too.

If you are having trouble with your supervisor or your employees, at some level, it is because you are allowing it.

No matter the situation, there is always something you can do to change patterns and be happier in your workplace. It is common to be so overworked and overwhelmed that finding time to train employees or create systems is a challenge. If that is true for you, please understand it is a priority and it is a worthwhile use of your time.

You have the power to reduce interruptions and distractions by setting boundaries. You can find an effective way to communicate to others what they can or cannot expect from you. You can give yourself permission to say no when you know it is the best thing to do. There is so much you can do! Don’t sell yourself short.

Nobody can manipulate you into accepting things that are unacceptable. I understand people don’t always ask for your permission before acting or making decisions, but you are in charge of determining your level of participation.

The way you handle one situation will influence how people perceive you and whether they get comfortable asking too much from you.

Take a moment to think about your job and your workplace. What makes you miserable? What do you wish would stop? You may be experiencing learned helplessness, only because you have been focusing on the problem for too long and you can’t see solutions. But they exist. I encourage you to brainstorm possibilities you haven’t considered before.

How To Make It Stop!

Here are some general tips on how to no longer allow things that cause you stress at work:

1.   Make expectations clear and keep your employees accountable.

2.   Be consistent in how you handle problems so that people won’t be tempted to push you or test your boundaries.

3.   Set new standards for yourself. Looking for perfection tends to create procrastination, so set achievable goals and standards to cross things off your to-do list.

4.   Take time to train, delegate, and empower others.

5.   Look for new ways to get things done in less time.

6.   Allocate a set amount of time to tasks and don’t allow yourself to take work home to finish at night or on the weekends.

7.   Remember you can’t please everyone, so meet your own expectations and standards without feeling bad when someone is being unreasonable.

8.   When you are asked to do something, remember you don’t always have to say yes. You can suggest other effective ways to get the task done without making it your burden every time.

9.   When possible, avoid people who drain your energy and seek the company of those who inspire you and empower you.

10. Remember past experiences don’t have to repeat themselves. You can make changes any time you want. It is never too late for a fresh start.

Changing habits may seem challenging but it is less difficult than continuing to put up with things that cause you stress on a regular basis. Only what you allow continues, so take back your personal power and create systems and boundaries that will improve your work satisfaction and effectiveness.

Want to read more? Click here to get a free copy of the ebook.

About the author: Since 2010 Dr. Audrey Reille has empowered thousands of professionals through one-on-one coaching, group coaching, speaking engagements, online courses, and interviews on international telesummits. Audrey is the go-to Success Coach for leaders in higher education administration. She empowers them to thrive by reducing stress, optimizing strategies, improving professional relationships, and developing a strong and empowered mindset.