Note: Gloria is a fictional character inspired from many clients who were in a similar situation. Clients’ personal stories are always kept strictly confidential.
Our first phone call
“Hi, Audrey. I wanted to talk with you about strategies to build a strong relationship with my new supervisor and help her be successful in her new position. She has only been here about six weeks and has already made decisions that infuriated the faculty and created issues with other Deans. I am her Associate Dean and really want to help her without overstepping the bounds or looking like I don’t trust her. I have been in my position for seven years and have a lot of insights to share with her.”
“Before we jump into this, forgive me, but there is a question on my mind I really want to ask you. When the Dean’s position opened, did you apply?”
“No!!! I don’t think I am ready. I don’t have enough experience working with cabinet members or negotiating with unions or politics in general. I have always been someone’s right hand but not the person in charge.”
“Were the examples you gave me required for the position?”
“No, these were not requirements, but I think it’s implied that we wanted a Dean who is comfortable in uncomfortable situations and has a long track record of leading a school like ours.”
“Gloria, I know the purpose of this call is to discuss how to be the best Associate Dean you can possibly be in this challenging situation with your new supervisor, and we’ll get to it in a minute I promise, but honestly, tell me, do you think that if you were the new Dean you could do a good job?”
“Well, the truth is… I had been preparing to replace the former Dean upon his retirement, but he told me I wasn’t ready and shouldn’t apply. So, I didn’t. Honestly, I regret it now. The new person we hired is not a good fit for us. I used to love my work but now I live with constant anxiety. That’s why I called you. I don’t know what to do.”
The root of the problem
Gloria wanted to work with an executive coach because she wasn’t confident that she could work well with her new supervisor. She was afraid of making a faux pas, afraid of displeasing her new boss, and even more afraid of the damage the new person might do if she couldn’t stop her from being impulsive and disregarding other people’s needs. Her desire to protect the school from poor decisions and consequences demonstrated that she was more of a leader than she gave herself credit for. She felt called to lead but didn’t think she deserved the Dean’s position.
She had served as Associate Dean for seven years and learned everything she needed in order to replace the Dean upon retirement but couldn’t see it. Her previous supervisor never showed much appreciation and didn’t praise her for her work or professionalism. He wanted her to “stay in her lane” and didn’t let her take initiatives to build her confidence.
Forced to grow and blossom
Gloria had let the fear of not being good enough stop her from applying for the Dean’s position. She chose comfort over courage and her decision back-fired. She was far more uncomfortable having to work for an impulsive and uncaring new Dean than being the Dean herself. We agreed to work together on strategies to be successful at her current job, but also to focus on building her confidence and stepping outside her comfort zone.
Her existing job became a place to implement the tools and strategies we covered during our coaching sessions on building rapport, gaining influence, becoming more assertive, and finding her voice. This doubtful and timid woman became more self-assured and developed a new professional identity as a strong servant leader.
Once she could acknowledge all the talents and qualities she brought to the workplace, she became ready to apply for other positions. At first, the idea of going to another university was intimidating but she quickly realized that a fresh start somewhere people had not seen her timid old self would be ideal. She became Dean on another campus and left the past in the past and loved this new chapter in her life and career.
Can you relate to Gloria?
What about you?
Are you waiting for your job to become intolerable to leave?
Are you frustrated to see people who are less qualified than you move up the ladder?
Do you secretly dream about getting another job but you don’t feel worthy?
I invite you to reach out to me. Let me help you uncover whether a new job is truly out of reach (at least for now, while you gain more experience) or if the limitations you perceive are only illusions.
Stop getting in your own way. It’s time to believe in yourself like you believe in others. It’s time to encourage yourself like you would encourage others. Let’s team up and eliminate doubt and insecurities so that you too can get your dream job. Click here to schedule a complimentary call with me. Talk to you soon!
About the author: Dr. Audrey Reille has empowered thousands of professionals through one-on-one coaching, group coaching, speaking engagements, and online courses. Audrey is the go-to coach for leaders in higher education administration. She empowers them to thrive by reducing stress, optimizing strategies, improving professional relationships, and developing a strong and empowered mindset.