Time Flies but Things Aren’t Getting Better
Higher ed. leaders are busy, always busy, and even though things are constantly changing, it’s easy to fall into a routine that doesn't feel good. There is a lot of work to do and not much time (if any) left for reflection, creativity, and improvement. Minds are meaning-making machines that create a narrative for every situation. The narrative is then reinforced every time something happens that confirms it. The mind seems unable to notice events that contradict the narrative, and that’s how we get stuck in a rut. We can’t see how to get unstuck, or sometimes we can see a way but perceive too many obstacles and don’t move forward.
It's Time to Question Your Narrative
What makes you feel stuck? Here are some comments I often hear from new clients:
1. “There is too much to do and not enough time.”
2. “I am not happy at my job, and I don’t feel appreciated.”
3. “I want a new job, but I can’t leave.”
To question your narrative, ask yourself:
Q1: Is this really true, 100% of the time?
Q2: Can I find some evidence of the opposite?
Q3: If I fully committed to changing the situation, what steps would I take?
Q4: What do I need to succeed and how can I get it?
Example 1: There is too much to do and not enough time.
Q1: “Well, to be completely honest, some days are busier than others, and I don’t always make the best use of the time available. I waste time and energy when I have a negative story playing in my head. Sometimes I procrastinate. Other times I over-complicate something I could have done well quickly. My workload is heavy but I could manage it much better if I were more proactive and self-disciplined.”
Q2: “I am able to get important things done, I meet deadlines when people rely on me, my supervisor has given me a very good performance review, so I must be doing better than I realize. I’ve been able to go on vacation last summer and I will be taking more time off around the holidays.”
Q3: “I could clarify expectations with my supervisor, identify priorities, get better organized, and stop wasting time complaining or feeling bad for myself. I could look for things I can stop doing or do less often. I may be able to delegate more.”
Q4: “To succeed, first and foremost I have to let go of my victim mentality, reclaim my personal power, commit to change, make a plan, and implement it. I’ve thought about it many times but didn’t follow-through so this time I’ll get a coach to make sure I succeed, and I stop getting in my own way.”
Example 2: I am not happy at my job, and I don’t feel appreciated.
Q1: “Some days I am happy, like when we accomplish something meaningful or when I feel a sense of belonging with my peers. I feel appreciated by students and colleagues most of the time.”
Q2: “There are things that make me happy. I really believe in our mission, and I am proud of how we serve students. I get to work with some amazing people. We work on a beautiful campus. I also get to work from home when I want to, which is so nice! Occasionally I do receive praise and recognition. I have received several merit-based raises.”
Q3: “I can develop a habit of focusing on gratitude for all of the positive aspects of my job instead of focusing on what’s not good enough. I can improve my communication with my supervisor to get more positive feedback and appreciation. I can choose to add meaning and purpose to my work by changing the way I think. And I can stop complaining!”
Q4: “To succeed, I need accountability, structure, new tools and strategies on changing my mindset and improving communication and professional relationships. I need a coach to keep me on track, help me make progress quickly, and make sure I don’t fall back into old habits when I am under pressure.”
Example 3: I want a new job, but I can’t leave.
Q1: “It’s not entirely true. A job is not a prison. Yes, I could leave if I really wanted to. I hesitate because it’s uncomfortable and unpredictable but I do have a choice.”
Q2: “I don’t want a long commute but there are other universities within an hour drive of my home, or I can look for a job that will allow me to work from home or a hybrid solution and I would only have to drive a couple of times a week. I don’t want to abandon my team, but I also know that nobody is irreplaceable and they would be ok.”
Q3: “If I were fully committed, I would network more, update my resume, start looking for jobs, ask colleagues to provide letters of recommendations, make time to write high-quality applications and prepare for interviews.”
Q4: “To succeed I would have to remind myself every day of what I really want, watch out to make sure I don’t give up on myself, keep picturing myself happy at a new job, and trust that it’s going to happen. I would also have to let go of the fears I have about leaving and starting something new. I would also need help preparing for interviews and will work with a coach. Having someone by my side will help me do better, and build and keep momentum.”
The Bottom Line
No longer feeling stuck comes down to one critical question: Are you interested in improving your situation or are you fully committed? If you are merely interested, you will let yourself down, make excuses, cling to old habits, and nothing will change. However, if you are fully committed, you will do whatever it takes to succeed. Change is hard when you have no support, no structure, and there isn’t anyone to lead the way. But it’s easier, empowering, and exciting when you fully commit, work with a coach, become a team, and gain and keep momentum.
So, what will you decide? Are more excuses coming to mind (e.g., “I don’t have time”, “I’m not sure I have professional development funds available for a coach”, “I don’t want to be kept accountable” etc.) or are you ready to get unstuck and move forward with courage, strength, and enthusiasm? I invite you to click here and schedule a time for us to talk about how we can work together to reach your goals quickly.
Note: If you liked this article, you are going to love participating in Audrey’s Caring Leaders coaching and discussions. There is no registration fee. Check it out here: https://thrivinginadmin.com/caring-leaders
About the author: Dr. Audrey Reille has empowered thousands of professionals through one-on-one coaching, group coaching, speaking engagements, and online courses. Audrey is the go-to executive coach for leaders in higher education administration. She empowers them to thrive by improving communication, reducing stress, optimizing strategies, improving professional relationships, and developing a strong and empowered mindset.
