How is your relationship with time?
Some people think there is never enough time. They work long hours every day and believe it’s inevitable because they have so much to do. They accept it as a reality they cannot change, because the way it is, is the only way it can be. When they come across strategies to save time, they immediately dismiss them, saying these things are not applicable to their situation. They go to great lengths arguing for their limitations and making statements every day reinforcing how busy they are. It’s like being a member of a “there is never enough time” cult, where indoctrination is so strong that members can’t hear any suggestions that go against their belief that they must work long hours. Their relationship is fundamentally defined by lack and scarcity, which is an enormous impediment to work performance, leadership, and performance.
Change your relationship with time
If you think you may have accidentally become a member of that cult, the good news is you are your own guru and you can change what you preach completely and immediately. But you’ll have to work on reversing the brainwashing by intentionally choosing different perspectives. Instead of thinking you are powerless, you need to realize that you are 100% in control of the choices you make. It’s up to you to get clear on your goals and priorities and decide how to allocate your time. Stop telling yourself that your job and your circumstances force you to work non-stop. Everyone has 24 hours each day and not all leaders with a job comparable yours are overwhelmed and overworked. If you choose to commit to change, you will find a step by step approach in my online program “how to accomplish more in less time in higher ed administration.” In as little as 5 weeks, you can transform your relationship with time and reclaim control over your life. There are no reasons to stay stuck, only excuses…
Why people choose to stay stuck
Why would anyone choose to cling to the idea they must work 10 or 12 hours a day, when it’s an illusion? Why wouldn’t they sign up for a program or work with a coach to improve their productivity and effectiveness, and have more free time to have a more joyful life? It doesn’t make sense, does it?
Well, when people don’t change it’s because they perceive transformation as loss rather than gain. To change, they have to let go of something they don’t want to lose. Here are some examples of why some people choose to stay stuck.
Keeping the same habits is easy and comfortable, whereas making changes requires more effort and courage. It appears easier to remain miserable than to step into the unknown and try something unfamiliar.
Saying it’s not possible to change is a way to avoid accountability and never have to face the truth or risk failure.
Being busy is often glorified and seen as honorable. People who take pride in working long hours don’t want to lose that pride. Their ego won’t let them!
People who find virtue in being a martyr or a selfless servant will also cling to dysfunction because their self-worth is attached to their suffering.
Being overworked is commonly used as an excuse not to follow-through or to make mistakes. Some people like to act like a martyr because they get away with dropping the ball and being disorganized. Instead of taking responsibility for their actions, they choose to blame their circumstances.
Probably the greatest loss perceived in personal transformation is the sense of identity. If someone has identified as an honorable and selfless leader for sacrificing so much of themselves for years, the idea of change invalidates their sense of self as well as the way they have been living their lives until now. They would prefer to continue to suffer than to admit their past habits were unnecessary and unhealthy.
Having too much to do is also used as an excuse to avoid parts of the job the person doesn’t like, such as keeping employees accountable, dealing with sensitive issues, and making time to lead (as opposed to managing without much leadership).
Working excessively is also a way to avoid giving attention to what is uncomfortable, such as the need to exercise, to eat healthy, to declutter the home, or to improve personal relationships with loved ones.
Focusing too much on work can also be a way to avoid facing the pain of what is missing in someone’s life, such as love, friendships, hobbies and interests.
And of course, change requires willingness to take an honest look at workstyles and behaviors so, people who don’t have the courage to face reality will avoid self-awareness at all cost.
What will you choose?
Be honest with yourself; do you want to learn how to accomplish more in less time and reclaim control over your schedule and your life, or do you prefer to remain comfortable and keep doing what you’ve always done? If you think I am wrong and your situation is uniquely challenging, let me remind you that I work exclusively with leaders in higher ed. and all of my clients have jobs with tremendous responsibilities. And yet, I have never met someone I couldn’t help change habits and free up time. There is no cookie-cutter approach and expectations vary for different jobs, individuals, and situations, but improvements are always possible.
Some people struggle with prioritizing and saying no; others indulge too much in time spent socializing with coworkers; others are perfectionists who spend too much time on projects and don’t delegate enough; others avoid what they don’t like and procrastinate; others are too distracted and need more structure. Everyone spends time on activities that bring little to value because they focus on processes more than results.
Without knowing you, I can already tell you that your time allocation and strategies can be improved. Why? Because you’re human and because it’s time to re-evaluate choices and create new habits. Almost everything you need is in this program, now available for only $47. The only two things missing are accountability and feedback, so if you are serious about making a change, consider working with me one-on-one. I will keep you motivated and won’t allow you to let yourself down. Click here to schedule a complimentary call. Talk to you soon!
About the author: Dr. Audrey Reille has empowered thousands of professionals through one-on-one coaching, group coaching, speaking engagements, and online courses. Audrey is the go-to coach for leaders in higher education administration. She empowers them to thrive by reducing stress, optimizing strategies, improving professional relationships, and developing a strong and empowered mindset.