The same things keep happening
One of the most common questions I receive on social media is “Should I leave higher ed.?”
Higher ed. leaders tell me they changed jobs to leave painful issues behind, yet the same problems arise time and time again. Looking at all of their negative experiences, they observe that the common denominator is the industry or the culture. If the same issues occur on multiple campuses, the solution seems to work somewhere that isn’t a college or university.
They conclude that in order to protect themselves from those recurring issues, they have to run away from an entire industry, one they love, one they dedicated their entire careers to, and one where they are more knowledgeable and valuable than any other.
Is that the right move? No, it isn’t. They should only leave higher ed. if they are not longer passionate about higher ed. but not to avoid uncomfortable situations. Here is why.
There is no escaping
Please realize that no matter where you go, you’ll be taking yourself with you. You are the common denominator for every position you’ve ever had in higher ed.
You may think other people are to blame for the way they treated you or the way they made you feel, but blaming people is never the answer. You may have been treated unfairly and I understand if you don’t want the same thing to happen again, but by seeking protection, you are choosing the lens of fear and powerlessness.
It’s impossible to know with certainty that any particular job will protect you from what has hurt you in the past. Anywhere you go, people will be who they are and do what they do, and you will need to be able to handle it. You will have to stop trying to control what is not yours to control. The peace and sense of safety you desire so deeply will come from your mindset and resilience, not from finding a drama-free campus.
What do you want to transform?
What’s bothering you about your current professional situation? It’s important to clarify which situations you find uncomfortable to then identify opportunities to break old patterns and free yourself from chronic issues. Let me share with you some common examples.
#1 Your workload is excessive and you work too many hours. This is an opportunity to set healthy boundaries, learn to say no, prioritize, better manage your time, and/or become more self-disciplined.
#2 You’re not getting the attention and support you need from your supervisor. This is an opportunity to enhance your communication skills, learn to advocate for yourself, gain influence, find your voice, and improve your self-confidence.
#3 You find some of the leadership team members intimidating. This is an opportunity to work on self-worth, self-confidence, and self-expression. You may even benefit from learning how other people think and gain valuable insights by observing people who do not have the types of insecurities that limit you.
#4 You are frustrated because faculty or staff members don’t seem to be as motivated and dedicated as you are. This is an opportunity to become an inspirational leader, create buy-in for your ideas, raise standards, create accountability, and foster a culture of excellence.
#5 You have stress and anxiety because you feel too much pressure. This is an opportunity to transform your mindset, let go of fear, stop over-thinking, become more self-disciplined, improve your self-care, develop self-confidence, and learn to trust that things will be ok.
#6 Your President is retiring, and you’re afraid of what may change or what you may lose. This is an opportunity to reduce your need to control everything, to predict future events, and to cling to what is familiar. You can learn to be more open to change and see it as an opportunity rather than loss.
#7 You feel like you don’t fit in and you crave a sense of belonging. This is an opportunity to explore whether the environment is clearly wrong for you (e.g. conflicting value systems) or if your feeling of separation or disconnection is a reflection of your emotional state. There is strong possibility that what you need isn’t better relationships with people but a better relationship with yourself. Once you learn to be comfortable in your own skin, to accept yourself, and to be free from worry and insecurity, your relationships with other people will improve naturally and effortlessly.
#8 You work six or seven days a week and can’t stop thinking about work even when you’re not working. This is an opportunity to step back, gain some perspective, figure out what you are avoiding by creating such imbalance, and take better care of your body and mind. It’s common for over-achievers to lose themselves in their work in order to feel worthy and significant, and to avoid facing to the parts of their lives they have been neglecting. It takes courage to take an honest look at your life independently from your career.
Start now
You might think that it will be easier to change habits, create different expectations, and change dynamics if you get a new job than trying to change at your current position, but it’s only another delay tactic! You must start now because changing old patterns and habits takes a lot of self-discipline and time before it gets easy. You can’t afford to wait.
Challenge yourself to grow here and now instead of waiting for a new job. If you don’t work on yourself now, you won’t know how to do things differently at your next job and you will recreate the same issues over and over, no matter where you go.
Start here and now. The sooner you start, the sooner you will experience relief from current discomfort and have a renewed sense of enthusiasm and excitement about the future. Working on yourself will make you proud of the progress you make, and will eliminate regret and shame or victimhood.
You can read “how to” books and try to do this alone but most people will fail without support. Releasing old habits and transforming old limitations requires the help of a trained professional who will see your blind spots, provide solutions, and create a safe and non-judgmental space for you to grow. Let me be that person for you. I invite you to click here to schedule a call with me and discuss how we can work together. Talk to you soon.
About the author: Dr. Audrey Reille has empowered thousands of professionals through one-on-one coaching, group coaching, speaking engagements, and online courses. Audrey is the go-to coach for leaders in higher education administration. She empowers them to thrive by reducing stress, optimizing strategies, improving professional relationships, and developing a strong and empowered mindset.