Managing up
Having a good relationship with your supervisor is easy when you report to someone who thinks the same way you do and shares the same values. However, when your supervisor has a completely different personality, different priorities, and different ways of perceiving situations, it is critically important to be highly intentional in meetings. Here are five steps that will help you make the best possible use of your one-on-one time.
1. Decide how you want to be perceived
If you let your mood or the stressful events of the day influence what kind of energy you bring to the meeting, you will reduce your effectiveness and maybe even hurt your own credibility. Make sure to decide what qualities you want to demonstrate and act accordingly.
For example, if you are frustrated about something that just happened, take a minute to shake it off. If you don’t, you might develop a habit of complaining a lot when you meet with your supervisor. It might feel good to vent and feel less alone, but if it is what you do most of the time, when a promotion becomes available, nobody will think of you as a good candidate.
Here are some attributes to consider: calm, open-minded, collaborative, effective, creative, inspirational, resourceful, honest, strong, dependable, and responsible.
Ask yourself:
What do you need to stop doing (e.g., blaming people or circumstances, venting, or making excuses)?
What do you need to start doing (e.g., review your notes from the last meeting and make sure to update your supervisor on the things that are important to them, even if they don’t seem like a priority to you)?
2. Have an agenda
This one is obvious but not always done. It will only take you a few minutes to prepare an agenda, prioritize items, and manage your time well. It will also help you keep track of progress from meeting to meeting. This is your opportunity to show your and your team’s accomplishments, bring more visibility to your department, and ask your supervisor questions pertinent to your work.
Always seek balance. Too much of one thing can hurt your reputation. For example, you should feel free to talk to your supervisor about problems that need to be addressed. Keep in mind that all supervisors’ responsibilities include giving their employees what they need to succeed. It’s obviously ok to ask for help. But do your best to think about potential solutions before you present the problems. Otherwise, you may be perceived as passive, disengaged, unwilling to do hard things, or simply unprepared.
3. Ask for feedback regularly
It is important to show your willingness to continue to grow, no matter how well you currently do your job. Sadly, most managers tend to spend most of their time and energy on “problem employees” and forget to prioritize giving feedback to their best employees. Don’t let that happen to you. Be skillful; you do not want to sound as if you needed constant validation to appease your insecurities. When you ask for feedback or suggestions, be specific. If you keep your questions vague, you are not likely to get a helpful response.
For example, verify that you have the same priorities and make sure your supervisor is pleased with the progress being made. See if there is something you can do to support your supervisor’s goals. Remember that everyone in higher ed. leadership is under pressure. You may not know what your boss has to deal with so keep in mind that you don’t know what you don’t know.
If you would like to learn new skills, you can ask for recommendations about conferences or training to attend. Encourage your supervisor to think about your professional development and career advancement opportunities.
4. Listen closely
It’s baffling how often managers feel unheard or unsupported by their supervisor, because they have had the same unsuccessful approach for years. Doing more of the same won’t create different results. In fact, it will lead to learned helplessness and feeling stuck. If you believe that your supervisor doesn’t understand you, first seek to understand them. What do they value? What do they ask about? What do they seem to ignore? With whom do they seem to get along well, and why? If you listen closely to people, they will show you how to get their attention and influence them.
Repeating every week what is important to you but not important to them won’t change their outlook on the situation. I have countless articles on my website on how to understand how your supervisor thinks and become more influential. Check out my post on how to advocate for yourself in higher ed. leadership here.
Conclusion
Changing habits by yourself and identifying your blind spots is extremely difficult. To make giant leaps forward and find solutions to problems you’ve had for a long time, get a coach!
Would you like me to help you become more influential and effective? I invite you to click here and schedule a time to speak with me to discuss how we can work together. I look forward to speaking with you soon.
About the author: Dr. Audrey Reille has empowered thousands of professionals through one-on-one coaching, group coaching, speaking engagements, and online courses. Audrey is the go-to executive coach for leaders in higher education administration. She empowers them to thrive by improving communication, confidence, executive presence, effectiveness reducing stress, optimizing strategies, improving professional relationships, and developing a strong and empowered mindset.