So much uncertainty!
Budget cuts, policy changes, turnover, layoffs, hiring freezes, restructuring, new technologies, new leadership – everything seems to be hitting all at once. Be careful! Misery loves company and bonding with coworkers by complaining isn’t going to bring peace or creative solutions. Are circumstances challenging? Yes, no doubt about it. Should you waste your time and energy dwelling on things you cannot change? Of course not.
Question your thoughts
You’ve probably seen quotes on social media stating, “Don’t believe everything you think!”. We have 60,000 to 70,000 thoughts each day, and most are false. Your mind was created to protect you. It wants to foresee what can go wrong so that you can be prepared, or at least not repeat mistakes. You need to discern which stressful thoughts are helpful (e.g., we have to implement budget cuts, so let’s figure out how) versus unhelpful and fearful (e.g., what if some of your best employees lose their visa and have to leave the country). Control what you can, and for the rest, either give it very little attention, or if you can’t help yourself from imagining the future and making assumptions, picture the best-case scenario. It’s all guesswork anyway, so you might as well choose thoughts that strengthen your confidence in the future.
Change your interpretation
We underestimate how much of our perspectives on events are subjective. Only verifiable facts are objective (e.g., enrollment is down by 15%); the meaning we attach to things is completely subjective. Where some people see a catastrophe, others see opportunities. I don’t advocate for toxic positivity, where we try to gaslight ourselves (or others) and dismiss things that are very real. But I encourage you to ask yourself “What else could this mean?”. Here are some examples:
1. One of your direct reports is not doing what you asked. You might think they are disrespecting you, or being lazy, or not caring about their job. But maybe your expectations were not communicated clearly, or maybe your employee doesn’t have the resources they need to follow-through, or maybe your requests were unreasonable. Before you take the issue personally and get triggered, seek to understand the source of disconnect. It may be something easy to fix, but only if you don’t get angry/reactive/frustrated/judgmental.
2. You find out that an employee you value and depend on heavily is interviewing for another job. You feel betrayed, let down, and question the entire professional relationship you’ve had for years. Stop! They may not be looking to leave you. Maybe they are worried about job security and need reassurance from you. Perhaps they are looking to relocate to be closer to some family members who need their care. Or maybe they were interviewing as a way to “test the market” because they needed some validation about their value on the job market. Don’t let your mind panic and make false assumptions.
3. Your supervisor cancels your one-on-one meetings often. You start to feel undervalued and unappreciated. Wait! Sadly, some managers focus on “problem employees” and give less time to their top performers because they don’t worry about them. Obviously, it’s a leadership mistake. Top performers should not be given less one-on-one time, unless there is a common agreement. But remember that maybe your boss is under a lot of pressure and struggles to prioritize what is most important. They may be reactive, put out fires all day, and postpone anything that doesn’t look like an imminent crisis. It’s poor management on their part, not a sign that you are not valued. Have a tactful and diplomatic conversation with them about that.
4. You are afraid of all of the changes ahead. The unknown can be intimidating. Please keep in mind that things that have not yet been decided present an opportunity to contribute to how the solution is shaped. Waiting like a spectator is nerve wracking but getting involved and influencing the strategy and outcomes is empowering.
Know your strength
Higher education leaders have to be flexible, adaptable, and creative. Remember your strength. You have gone through countless challenges in your career. Whatever life throws at you, you will figure things out, and you will be ok. Having confidence in yourself and trusting in the future are superpowers because they stop you from wasting valuable time and energy resisting reality, wishing things were different, and feeling victimized.
Tools to keep you strong
When a situation makes you feel uneasy, and you have an immediate negative reaction, ask yourself:
Am I 100% certain that my interpretation is true? If not, what else could it be?
Are my thoughts making me stronger (leading to solutions) or weaker (falling deeper into powerlessness)? Choose thoughts that make you stronger.
If something is objectively undesirable or seems unfair: What good could come from this? Try to turn challenges into lessons, or let yourself imagine positive outcomes, even when they are out of your control.
If someone is making you angry or frustrated, keep trying to correct the situation but be mindful of how much time and energy you waste thinking about it, or talking to your family about it. Do what can be done, then let it go. The issue doesn’t warrant losing your peace over it.
If something makes you feel unsafe, question if it’s really true. More often than not, it’s our comfort that is threatened, not our safety. Life is not meant to always be easy. And that’s normal.
Use healthy boundaries when necessary. I mean with others (not letting someone email you all day long and hijack your day) and also with yourself. Consider allocating a set amount of time to deal with an issue, then develop self-discipline not to keep dwelling on it.
Practice being here and now. Leadership requires vision and organization but when we worry too much about the future, our cognitive abilities are diminished. So please, take time to unplug, do things that make you happy, have quality time with your loved ones, spend time in nature if you can. Don’t let work or frustrations be all consuming.
I could give you hundreds of examples of opportunities to change your perspective and change how you experience the issue. That’s the power of coaching. Before we make external changes, we begin with internal changes, which can be immediate, and give you the tools and techniques to lead at the highest level possible.
If you’ve read this entire blog, it means you need to keep the momentum and click this link to schedule a complementary call with me. We will discuss how I can help with your mindset, strategies, and leadership challenges in higher education. Let’s talk soon.
About the author: Dr. Audrey Reille has empowered thousands of professionals through one-on-one coaching, group coaching, speaking engagements, and online courses. Audrey is the go-to executive coach for leaders in higher education administration. She empowers them to thrive by improving communication, confidence, executive presence, effectiveness, reducing stress, optimizing strategies, improving professional relationships, and developing a strong and empowered mindset.