Asking for what you deserve
I received a message from someone who is an exceptional leader but, unlike other people at the same university, hasn’t been rewarded for their outstanding work and dedication. That person is a true servant leader, always focused on doing what’s right, and not having any self-serving agenda. While humility is honorable, lack of self-advocacy is a missed opportunity. There is nothing wrong with asking for what is deserved. In fact, when done skillfully, it shows self-respect and self-confidence, which inspires more respect.
My intention was to spend no more than five minutes replying to the question “Do you have any advice on meeting with my supervisor to request a raise, because my responsibilities have increased?” but ideas poured out of me, so I decided to share them in a blog post. What people tell me is strictly confidential, but if my response can help other leaders I am happy to share.
Here is what I wrote back
1. The most important thing is your mindset when you go into that meeting. Before you go, remind yourself that you've earned a higher compensation by taking on additional responsibilities and performing so well. Know your worth and articulate it with confidence. Even though nothing is ever guaranteed, go in telling yourself you won't take no for an answer. Be assertive and show your confidence. Seeing you demonstrate strong determination will make clear that your request should be taken seriously.
2. Before you do anything, always define success. This is no exception. Know how big of a raise you want. Don’t just think more. Imagine if you get a $500 stipend per semester, you will have gotten more, but you won’t be happy. Ask for an amount higher than what you wish to get. Some people still do the outdated "let's meet in the middle" strategy, so start high (but not unreasonably high).
3. Obviously, be prepared to show why your increase in responsibilities and your accomplishments justify a raise. Take a moment before the meeting to prepare. You will most likely be impressed once you start listing your own accomplishments! Also, think about why it is to their advantage to give you what you ask. Show how your request is aligned with their individual and departmental goals. Show your value and make sure the win-win proposition is clear.
4. If your supervisor says something like "I'll take it under advisement" or "Give me some time to see what I can do." don't leave it at that. You need to walk away with either a decision made, or a short timeline about when the decision will be made. So, if you're being told to wait, ask to schedule a follow-up meeting to make sure your request is not forgotten or moved to a low priority. If you feel dismissed too quickly, ask a related question so that the conversation doesn't end there abruptly.
5. Avoid weak words like "I hope", "I'd like to try", or anything like that, that shows you would like your request to be granted but you've already accepted the possibility that you could be denied. Avoid anything excessively considerate that makes you sound less important than other people (such as "I'm sorry for taking your time, I know you're busy" or "I know the timing is bad", or "I hate to ask but...").
6. Do your research. You might want to gather facts about other people's responsibilities and compensations, or any precedents already set that would show that they have to make things right, in the name of equity.
7. If no matter how skillful you are in the meeting you are told to wait, you can ask for something else to show good faith on their part while you wait. What would make your work-life better? Can you negotiate to have less work, fewer responsibilities, or the ability to delegate more? That's not my favorite option - I like to show high engagement instead of looking to step back - but in some cases, that can be appropriate if the workload is excessive and unsustainable. Do you want more flexibility in your schedule? How about more days working from home to avoid interruptions? What else would you want?
8. If you don't get more money directly, can you ask for something that would benefit both you and your institution? How about asking for professional development funds for one-on-one executive coaching? The increased responsibilities would justify having a coach to optimize time management, increase productivity, and help with any workplace challenges you may face.
9. If you get what you want and you are ready to say yes to what is being offered, show appreciation and renewed enthusiasm/engagement/loyalty as you end the meeting. However, if your request seems to be perceived as a low priority, you may want to diplomatically remind them that fair compensation for outstanding work is important to retain talent.
10. One last thought, do you have any idea where they might be able to access money they aren't thinking about now? Could they cut costs somewhere, unencumber the funds, and allocate them to you? Think creatively. It’s too easy to say, “We don’t have a budget for that”. That might seem pushy to you but let me ask you, have you ever read Board meeting minutes and seen outrageous expenses for something that didn’t make sense to you? I have been in higher ed. for over twenty years, and I can tell you that when there is a will, there is a way. Some people are easy to say no to. Don’t be one of them.
Conclusion
You might think that my advice is inappropriate in some environments (that’s possible) but my intention here is to remind the most selfless leaders that they can be servant leaders while still advocating for themselves. I’ve seen too many quiet leaders feel enormous resentment when people who are less deserving receive more money, more recognition, and even promotions. This is the intended audience for this post. Personally, I can’t stand people who are entitled so I am not suggesting that anyone should feel entitled. But being a martyr isn’t a good choice either. Know your worth. Ask for it. People will respect you more for it.
Would you like me to help you find your voice, advocate for yourself, and gain more visibility so that people stop taking you for granted? I invite you to click here and schedule a time to speak with me to discuss how we can work together. Many colleges and universities pay for executive coaching because they know how significant is the return on investment, so don’t wait. I look forward to speaking with you soon.
About the author: Dr. Audrey Reille has empowered thousands of professionals through one-on-one coaching, group coaching, speaking engagements, and online courses. Audrey is the go-to executive coach for leaders in higher education administration. She empowers them to thrive by improving communication, confidence, executive presence, effectiveness reducing stress, optimizing strategies, improving professional relationships, and developing a strong and empowered mindset.