A call for courage
As we approach Thanksgiving and I think about what I am grateful for (it’s a daily practice but I’m reflecting even more so this week) I am filled with deep and sincere appreciation for my clients. They are courageous transformational leaders who do what needs to be done instead of clinging to what is comfortable and familiar, like so many other administrators do.
Another thing that most of them have in common is having read Brené Brown’s books. Her work is a wonderful gift to higher ed. as she got people talking about critical issues that were previously ignored or intentionally avoided. Her message is compelling because she speaks the language of academia.
She encourages leaders to dare greatly and rise strong. She invites you to take off your armor, lead, serve, have the courage to be vulnerable, become self-aware, and develop compassion for others and yourself. It’s a tall order but it’s what higher ed. needs!
Is it happening on your campus? Are you daring greatly and rising strong?
Choosing fear
Many authors, philosophers, and spiritual leaders encouraged people to live whole-heartedly for centuries, but their teachings weren’t research-based. Brené on the other hand has provided enough data and evidence for higher ed. to embrace her teachings. I would add that her message intuitively rings true to many of us. So why aren’t we seeing much change yet? It’s undeniable that colleges and universities move slowly compared to business, but that’s not the only reason.
It’s disappointing to see so many people read her work and love it, yet not implement what she is offering. People talk about being courageous, authentic and having tough conversations but don’t actually do it! When I ask why, they say they don’t want to upset the faculty, or they fear not being supported by their leadership, or they jump to the worst possible outcome and tell me they are afraid to lose their job! What?
Brené doesn’t suggest you become a bull in a china shop. She wants you to have the courage to lead in a sensitive and strategic manner, and be effective. Being courageous doesn’t mean confrontational. In fact, when I work with my clients on courageous leadership, we craft a plan to set a new vision, change the culture progressively, and use accountability, with every step including empathy and connection. I promise you it can be done. So why not start now?
Numbing discomfort
Too many higher ed. leaders use books and podcasts to numb their discomfort instead of taking action. At work, they feel somewhat disconnected or simply different from many other people on the leadership team. They don’t like what they see happening but don’t know how to speak up and have tough conversations. Reading books and listening to podcasts soothes their uneasiness because it makes them feel connected, no longer alone, now part of something bigger, and these uplifting moments mask the pain they feel at work.
The problem is that numbing discomfort leads to denial and stagnation. We need to be uncomfortable to find the motivation to change. Imagine if you had a 30-year old daughter who desperately wanted to get married and have children but was afraid to meet people and feared rejection. Picture her spending every evening watching romantic comedies, at home, alone. Would watching fictional romance help her live fully, connect with people, build resilience to rejection and disappointment, and eventually have a family? Of course not. It would keep her stuck in avoidance and denial. You would probably tell her to turn off the TV, go outside with her friends, and do new activities to meet new people. Right?
I chose a silly example to make my point ridiculously obvious, but let’s look at how this analogy relates to higher ed. leadership. Reading books and listening to podcast are just like watching romance on TV. It can feel good in the moment, but it doesn’t change anything.
Reality check
What about you? Do you enjoy books and podcasts on leadership and personal development? Do you use them as a distraction from the sadness and frustration of not having what you want, or not being what you want? Are you hiding behind excuses (e.g., “if I make waves, I’ll lose my job”)?
All change involves a degree of risk, but nobody is suggesting you do anything reckless. Please write down what your core values are and observe if your actions reflect them. If integrity and courage are important to you, you can no longer talk about rising strong if you don’t have the courage to lead. Please don’t be hard on yourself but do take this opportunity to identify what your heart truly desires.
What changes would you like to lead at your workplace?
What kind of behaviors do you want to encourage within your team?
What culture do you want to foster?
How do you want to think and act from this point on?
Make a commitment to yourself
Get in the arena! What will you need to stop doing? What will you need to start doing? How will you keep yourself focused and accountable?
Chances are, when facing obstacles, you’ll be very tempted to go back to your old way of doing things. Rising strong requires determination and absolute commitment. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.
Remember that you don’t have to do this alone. I hope you can identify other leaders on your campus to take this journey with you. And whether you are alone or with others, you can work with an executive coach like me to overcome doubts, fears, and other obstacles. Click here to schedule a time to speak with me about how we can team up to make it happen. Let’s talk soon.
About the author: Dr. Audrey Reille has empowered thousands of professionals through one-on-one coaching, group coaching, speaking engagements, and online courses. Audrey is the go-to coach for leaders in higher education administration. She empowers them to thrive by reducing stress, optimizing strategies, improving professional relationships, and developing a strong and empowered mindset.