What do you think is your next level?
No, I don’t mean your next logical step from a job title perspective. I mean real leadership. The precursor to personal growth is self-awareness, which requires the courage to look at our intentions and compare them to our actions. A simple habit I suggest my clients develop is to set an intention for the day each morning and reflect in the evening on what unfolded and why. It’s a powerful way to gain clarity, prioritize, and identify patterns that set us back.
People who have strong resistance to doing something so simple and fast (you can do it while brushing your teeth!) and use lack of time as excuse are usually people who are afraid of what they may discover. Will they have to face the fact that they procrastinate and avoid what is not comfortable? Will they discover that they lack boundaries and let other people determine how they spend their time? They might observe a pattern of playing small, settling for less than they really want, or avoiding duties that are part of their job description. Some don’t want to acknowledge their habit of wasting time complaining and seeking validation about their complaints, instead of working on solutions. Sigh… the list goes on and on.
What are you avoiding? What are you resisting? In what situations do you let yourself down? This isn’t about shame or regret but about opportunity. What you avoid and resist IS your next level.
Change is hard, habits are hard, choose your hard
The mind always tries to keep us safe by clinging to what is familiar because it appears predictable and safe. But it’s not true! Familiar is just that – familiar. It may not be safe, it’s certainly not fostering growth and innovation, and it perpetuates the problems you experience to the point that you might think they are inevitable. When things keep repeating (as a result of our choices and actions), it is tempting to think “This is who I am” instead of recognizing “This is an old habit that I could change if I had a strong enough reason”.
For example, if you are afraid of confrontation, you may avoid difficult conversations that are necessary in the workplace. People don’t get to hear your perspective or feedback or boundaries, and may continue to aggravate you by doing more of what you judge unacceptable. Over time, a conversation that could have been easy and diplomatic becomes a much bigger deal, as you have accumulated a list of grievances and lost sleep over it for months! The pain of saying nothing has become greater than the potential pain of having spoken up at the first occurrence. It is true that what we resist persists!
Change is hard, but not changing is often even harder.
Stop doing more of the same
When higher ed. leaders are under pressure, they tend to do more of the same. The rigid ones become more controlling and start micromanaging. Those who avoid discomfort don’t show up for critical meetings or ignore emails or requests that need a timely response. Those who spend too much time planning and not enough time executing will work on optimizing their plans instead of taking the next right action and building momentum. Those who act like busy bees will continue to work long days and never have a chance to step back to ponder how to better delegate, reorganize, or streamline processes. It’s common human behavior but it keeps people stuck.
Choose your next level
If your pattern is avoidance, work on your confidence and develop a vision of success instead of using your imagination to worry.
If your pattern is over-giving, learn to develop healthy boundaries that support your desire to be a servant leader but not someone who is easily disrespected or manipulated.
If your pattern is playing small, challenge yourself with something bigger, and find the courage to let yourself be seen.
You see where this is going. Once you identify your pattern, you need to do the opposite!
It’s also true for how we live our lives. Some people have a social calendar so full that they never have a second to sit with their thoughts. They need some time alone. On the other hand, some people feel happy and recharged in solitude (I am one of them) but need to stay open to new experiences to make their lives richer, and avoid becoming a hermit!
It’s all about balance. Whatever we do in excess or whatever we avoid doing is likely to cause issues in leadership. It’s easier to see it in others than in ourselves. Observe how often you look at people above you on the organizational chart and think “He always does…” or “She always does…”. If you think they are failing you or the organization, that’s probably because they keep doing more of the same!
What do you want your direct reports to think about you, and even more importantly, what do you want to think about yourself?
Breaking life-long habits is nearly impossible without someone acting as a mirror to show you your blind spots and asking you powerful questions to become aware of what drives your behavior.
Imagine having someone you trust fully by your side, who can spare you much discomfort and accelerate your evolution into your next level of leadership! It’s time. Click here to schedule a call with me to discuss how we can work together. You deserve it.
About the author: Dr. Audrey Reille has empowered thousands of professionals through one-on-one coaching, group coaching, speaking engagements, and online courses. Audrey is the go-to executive coach for leaders in higher education administration. She empowers them to thrive by improving communication, confidence, executive presence, effectiveness, reducing stress, optimizing strategies, improving professional relationships, and developing a strong and empowered mindset.